Archive for October, 2011
Coping with the death of a pet…
Posted by journonest in Advice, Articles and interviews, Blog on October 27, 2011
If you’ve ever lost a pet you’ll know the ‘pull yourself together, it’s only an animal’ approach misses the point completely. We forge huge bonds with pets and losing them can leave a gaping whole in our lives – as well as an embarrassment in dealing with the grief. Ralphie.co.uk talks to Jane Matthews, of Great Linford, the author of Pet Bereavement…
“Sorry to mention felines on a site for dogs but a few years ago my lovely cat, who we’d had since she was a kitten, was knocked over and killed on the road,” says Jane. “I was floored by the intensity of my grief and – to be honest – embarrassed. It was only as I started to talk to other pet owners that I realised I had nothing to apologise for. I had lost my cat, but also a great friend. I felt other animal lovers facing the loss of their pet might appreciate the support, reassurance and practical advice that a small book could hold.”
Pocket was part of a family of cats left on Jane’s doorstep 15 years ago by someone who rang the doorbell and ran away and she’s been a cat lover ever since.
“For me, pets help turn a house into a home. Now my children have left home it’s wonderful to come home to a couple of furry faces who love me, curl up in front of the fire with me, get me out of bed in the morning, and don’t care one whit what kind of mood I am in.”
‘Part of the fabric of our lives’
But there’s often a stigma attached to grieving for a lost pet, especially among those who don’t own animals and can’t understand the bond you make with them.
“Many of those I interviewed for the book spoke of being told to ‘pull themselves together – it’s only an animal’. Which entirely misses the point that for those of us who have pets they become part of the fabric of our lives. We often see more of them than we see many of our friends of relatives and they are part so many special memories; the love we have for them and they for us is totally uncomplicated in the way our love for people can be.
“Embarrassment comes from feeling there is something wrong with us for feeling the loss so deeply. One of points I make in the book is that this is no small loss. We don’t measure grief by the size of what we have lost but by what they meant to us. And for many people their pet is a part of the family.”
Jane says writing the book was “a chance to turn something horrible into something positive. Every time I get a letter, email or phone call from someone telling me the book has helped them, I am able to look back more easily.”
‘It’s okay to take time out’
Dealing with the grief is much the same for pets as it is for people, explains Jane; finding support, taking time out and not being ashamed that you’ve lost a ‘family’ member.
“I think support is key, whether people find that through talking to other pet lovers, visiting and posting on a pet loss website, or reading my book. But also support for yourself. Treat yourself as kindly and with as much understanding as you would a dear friend who has been bereaved. We always behave as if life must go on but actually it doesn’t have to. It’s okay to allow ourselves some time out during the days we can’t seem to stop bursting into tears. It’s okay to need to express to others what you are feeling, so long as you choose carefully.”
Jane’s book is available www.smallbooks.co.uk, priced £3.99, from many vets (and if your surgery doesn’t stock it you could suggest they do), and from a number of pet crematoria as well as the usual outlets such as Amazon. For those reading about it on this website Jane’s happy to offer free postage and packaging. Email Jane direct to info@smallbooks.co.uk and quote ‘ralphie.co.uk’. Update! This book is now available for the kindle!
October 2011 (updated March 2012)
Dog attack: what happens when the other dog doesn’t want to play?
Posted by journonest in Articles and interviews, Blog on October 27, 2011
Responsible dog owners are aware of their pet’s personality traits and act accordingly, but what if you’re faced with a temperamental dog and the owner’s nowhere to be seen? Tracy Buchanan, of Monkston, shares her story…
“Each lunchtime, I walk my Jack Russell Archie around our estate and every now and again, I’d notice another Jack Russell wondering about on its own. When I asked around, I was told it belonged to a man on the road I was walking along and it would sometimes get out from his garden. People said just to leave it as it always found its way back indoors so I did – and it always seemed to be happy with that. In fact, when I tried to approach it, it would run off.
“But one day it trotted up to me and Archie before I even knew what was happening, it lunged at him and gripped him around the neck.
“I remember feeling an absolute, pure terror. I adore my pooch and to see him grabbed like that, and to hear the horrible whine that came out from his mouth was terrifying. I envisaged the absolute worst as it looked and sounded so terrible. Then I kicked into action…
‘Plunged its teeth into my finger… I screamed’
“I responded by trying to pull the other dog away. When that didn’t work, I plunged my hand between them both to somehow create a barrier. That’s when one of the dogs – I don’t know which by this point – as Archie was starting to fight back – plunged its teeth into my finger.
“In the end, I don’t know why – Archie’s fightback or my cries – the attacking dog decided he’d had enough and ran off. That’s when his owner came out of a house a few doors away and I screamed at him to keep an eye on his dog as next time, it might be a child.
“I did contemplate going to the police but I know they can’t do much about dog fights unless one is badly injured or a human is badly injured so I just left it, making a promise to myself if I saw his dog on the loose again, I’d do something about it.
Be aware of your dog’s anger issues
“I think some dogs certainly have anger issues – in fact, my Jack Russell can get a bit narky sometimes as he’s blind in one eye and if a dog approaches him from the wrong direction, he can growl and snap. But we keep him on a tight leash and are very aware of this. This is why I believe even more, when a dog has a propensity for violence, you certainly shouldn’t let it off the lead or let it randomly out of the house on its own!
“I’m definitely more wary when walking Archie now and will even pick him up if a dog comes bounding towards him – I’d rather they attack me than him! It’s not just Archie I’m worried about but the other dog too. My dog can put up a good fight so what if it’s all turned around and blamed on him if he injures another dog or owner in the process?
“My main concerns about Archie when taking him for a walk are him running off and him getting into a dog fight. I have recurring nightmares about both, in fact! But I take measures to ensure this doesn’t happen and wish other owners of dogs that have an anger streak did the same!”
Tessa Hallings, from Bedfordshire, attented dog training classes with a British Institute of of Professional Dog trainers instructor. Her dog gained a Good Citizen Gold Award and she’s now training to become an instructor herself. She said a common mistake people make when their dog is attacked is is to touch or drag them away, which often results in injury to the dog or owner.
“Do not touch either dog as they don’t know whether it’s a human or an attacking dog that’s touching them and they will react on instinct and attack the touch. Shouting may work or try to out something like a broom between them to split them up.”
- Did you know the maximum penalty for allowing a dog you own or are in charge of to be dangerously out of control is two years’ imprisonment, or a fine – or both. If you’re faced with a dangerous dog, you can report incidents to Thames Valley Police or MK Dogwatch.
October 2011
A little something for a rainy day?
Posted by ralphie007 in Blog, Fun stuff on October 27, 2011
If Ralphie was a brand…
Posted by ralphie007 in Blog, Fun stuff, Ralphie on October 24, 2011






